i'm in the shower (yeah the shower)
standing in the shower (stand- standing up)
on my feet (...hopefully)
gotta turn the fuckin water on (yeah)
still standing (i didn't sit in the process)
i don't have a chair with me (not yet)
shampoo in my hair (shampoo everywhere)
why is there so much fucking shampoo (i spend way too much on shampoo every week)
i don't have the fuckin budget for that (i'm on a very fixed income and shampoo is like 30% of my profits)
more like... 300% (really?)
there's so much fucking shampoo (shit)
like it just happens
like you're in walmart one day
and you see that sale aisle
and there's like strawberry mist
and you're like shit i need that
there's also like
island adventure
and you're like wow
i could use a vacation for free
but it's not free it's like 19.99
but it's better but like still
anyways
(shampoo)
on my head
(shampoo)
on my head
(shampoo)
in my eyes FUCK
(are you okay)
no
(shampoo)
[deeper] shampoo
(that was nice)
thanks
(shampoo)
shampoo
(comes in many flavors)
did you say flavors?
(what else are you gonna say?)
scents? aromas?
(i guess)
do you eat shampoo? is that what you're implying
(no no no no no dude i just couldn't think of the word so i just picked the first word that made sense to me and that was flavors)
okay
standing in the shower
shampoo in my hair
haven't turned the water on yet
...wait shit i haven't
i don't have hands
(who put on the shampoo)
what the fuck
is there a ghost
(you don't have hands... [laughter])
i have a ghost
that helps me out in the bathroom
[laughter]
(he wipes my ass when i take shits)
it's kinda kind
(like six times a day)
but like kinda creepy
he does it on autopilot now like i don't even have to say anything
standing in the shower
shampoo in my hair
still no hands
ghost in my bathroom
still standing
hours have passed
i'm really hungry
gotta eat the shampoo
(see now flavors apply)
tastes like chemicals
this can't be healthy
(so does fuckin fast food)
those are different chemicals
you don't put fast food in your hair
(maybe we should)
yeah i'll get an order of mcnuggets and rub that in my hair
get like that barbeque sauce
but big mac sauce in my hair
(okay i get it)
i'm just trying to be funny
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